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The Next Two Episodes of Peppermint Park
(After the intro, we cut to the G-man at his desk in his room dressed up as Mario) G-man (In Mario’s voice): Hello, everyone! It’s-a me, the G-man! (He takes off the taped-on moustache and drops the impression) Actually, I won’t do that voice the whole time. But as you can tell, I’m hyped up for Halloween! And since it’s the season to spook, we have something scary, disturbing, and for some reason, kid-friendly. That’s right! We’re reviewing Peppermint Park again! (The main theme starts as clips from the show begin to play) G-man (V.O): It’s been a long time coming, but we’re finally taking a look at the next two episodes of Peppermint Park! To recap, it has creepy puppets, no morels, and I swear this takes place in Sesame Street Hell. (Cut back to the G-man) G-man: Well, I won’t keep you waiting any longer. Here are the next two episodes of Peppermint Park! (Cut to the opening scene of the third episode) G-man (V.O): Episode three is called Music Land. Also, here’s that theme again: Male voice (V.O singing): Good friends! Gonna get together with good friends! Everything is better with friends like you, there’s so much to do in Peppermint Park! (Cut back to the G-man) G-man: If you were to ask me what my favorite things about this show is, I would answer: "The opening and ending themes.". Everything else is fucked. (Cut back to the episode) Knurkle: Hi, Snork! Hey, what’re you doin’ there? Snorkee: Oh! Hi, Knurkle! I was just trying to slow down this clock a little. That way, we’ll have more time for the show! (Cut back to the G-man facepalming, and then back to the episode) G-man (V.O): After that bit of stupidity, we learn about the letter M. Female voice (V.O): M is the first letter in the word "Mayonnaise". M is also the first letter in the word "Marbles". The letter M; it’s the first letter in the word "Music". (A quartet of musicians play their instruments briefly before we cut back to the G-man) G-man: That’s cool and all, but let’s see them play Through the Fire and Flames! (The scene plays again with the guitar solo from said song played over it. Cut back to the episode with the original audio) G-man (V.O): After we count to the number eight really loudly, we get a song about a rhinoceros for no apparent reason. Afterwards, its more of the Story Lady. This time, its about a kid named Trevor and his first day of school. (The text "Irrelevant Alert!" pops up as a siren is heard. Cut back to the G-man) G-man (Sarcastically): Oh, good! Another running gag to annoy me! (Cut back to the episode) G-man (V.O in normal tone): After that, we sing about the letter M with… Puppet: Hi, gang! It’s me, Ernie! G-man (V.O): Oh, wow! (Cut back to the G-man) G-man: Now they’re using names from Sesame Street?! And the golden rule for making a parody is never reference what your making a parody of! (Cut back to the episode) G-man (V.O): After Ernie’s bit, we get the same gimmick from the first episode where we spot the lowercase letter B. and then we count to the number nine with Satan. Low-pitched voice (V.O): The number nine. Let’s count to the number nine. (Cut back to the G-man) G-man: Whatever you say, Diablo. (Cut back to the episode) G-man (V.O): After Magic Megan shows us how to write a secret message, we learn about the letter W. Female voice (V.O): Today on Peppermint Park, we’re introducing the letter W. W; it’s the first letter in the word "Water". (Cut to later in the episode) Here’s the letter W again. W; it’s the first letter in the word "Window". W is also the first letter in the word "Whistle". G-man (V.O): And out of nowhere, we get a song about, what else? Whistling! But our luck has run out when we go back to the demon puppets. Snorkee: Kinda boring around here, isn’t it? Knurkle: Yeah, it sure is. There’s nothing to do! (Cut back to the G-man) G-man: I know a game you could play! I call it: (He holds up his fist) "My Fist in Your Face"! (Cut back to the episode) G-man (V.O): After that, we get a pointless whale segment, a woman complaining about her clean floor, and a song about a goat. And that’s episode three! (Cut back to the G-man) G-man: Episode four is- (He is interrupted by his phone ringing) Every fucking time… (He answers it) Hello? (The caller turns out to be Joe Santagato. During their conversation, it cuts between them) Joe: Hey, asshole! G-man: Oh. Hey, Joe! What’s going on? Joe: I’ll tell you what’s going on, I heard you were reviewing Peppermint Park, and I’d like to know what the hell you were thinking! G-man: Seriously? You too? What is this urban legend behind Peppermint Park? Joe: If someone reviews all six episodes, he’ll get you! G-man: WHO’S HE?! Joe: The Hell Frog! (The G-man abruptly hangs up) G-man: Is he high, or something? (Cut to episode four) G-man (V.O): Episode four is called Musical Letters. And it opens with Snorkee who for some reason is in Knurkle’s clothing for no apparent reason. (Cut back to the G-man wearing a Batman shirt instead of his usual one) G-man: That’s like if I switched shirts for one- (He looks down) Who’s idea was this? Pivot (From offscreen): It seemed good enough by your standards! G-man: You’re this close to being fired, Pivot! (Cut back to the episode) Snorkee: Hi, gang! I’m glad you could visit us today on Peppermint Park! (Cut back to the G-man wearing his usual shirt again) G-man: Believe me, I’m only doing this for comedy purposes. (Cut back to the episode) G-man (V.O): And after Knurkle fucks up, we learn about the letter G. Female voice (V.O): Today on Peppermint Park, we’re learning about the letter G. G-man (V.O): Yeah, I already said that! Why did you need to repeat it? Also, if you’re expecting any morals, lessons, or anything like Sesame Street, you must be stoned out of your mind! Anyway, we then get a song about a giraffe, count to the number ten like we did in the first episode, and then Ernie announces the next song. Ernie: Today on Peppermint Park, we’re introducing the letter- (Suddenly, Snorkee appears in a box in the upper left-hand corner) Snorkee: Wait a minute! (Cut back to the G-man) G-man: Okay, why did Snorkee do that? It’s bad enough we have to suffer through the songs and puppets, but why does this happen? It’s pointless like everything else in this show! (Cut back to the episode) G-man (V.O): After we sing about the letter T with creepy-ass T puppets, we learn about Stop Drop and Roll with Piggle and… (Sparky the Clown appears) Beta Pennywise? Sparky: Do you know what to do if your clothes catch on fire? Piggle: Well… No. Sparky: Well, have you heard this before? "Stop, Drop, and Roll". (Cut back to the G-man) G-man: Or what could do is… (Cut to a clip from Plumbers Don’t Wear Ties) Man: Take your damn clothes off! (Cut back to the episode) G-man (V.O): Up nest is an animation about the letter T. Skip. Then a song about a penguin. Skip. Male voice (V.O): Now, boys and girls, here’s the Peppermint Park Story Lady. (Cut back to the G-man holding a red button) G-man: Skip! (He presses the button before we cut back to the episode) G-man (V.O): After Bootleg Mario makes a trumpet for no reason… (Cut back to the G-man) Seriously, How It’s Made did it better! (Cut back to the episode) We learn about edible clay with… Puppet: Hello there! As you all know, I am the famous inventor, Professor Goodstuff! (Cut back to the G-man) G-man: Wow! He’s so famous, he only made two appearances throughout the entire series! (Cut back to the episode) G-man (V.O): After Bootleg Yoda does his shit, we sing about the color green, get some pointless Big and Little segments, Magic Megan shows us how to walk through paper, and finally, a song about tying shoes. And then the episode ends. (Cut back to the G-man) G-man: So, those were the next two episodes of Peppermint Park! Again, it was shit. And I’m starting to think that this (He uses air quotes for the next two words he says) "Hell Frog" Joe mentioned doesn’t even exist! (His phone starts ringing. Sighing, he picks it up) Hello? (Cut to a shadowy figure in a dark room watching the G-man from a monitor. During their conversation, it cuts between them) ???: I’m watchin’ you… G-man: Who is this? ???: I’m the one-and-only Hell Frog! Nice to meet ‘ya! G-man (Unamused): Alright, Joe and/or Vinny, I know it’s you, so stop trying to mess with me! ???: Nuh-uh! I’m not them! Review the last two episodes! Go ahead! (The G-man angrily hangs up) G-man: Fucking crank callers… Well, I am the G-man, that’s all you need to know about that, and have a Happy Halloween! Peace! Category:Episode